As far as rhythm goes, I think everything is perfect save for the very last line. If you could figure out a way to remove a syllable, it would be immaculate. Otherwise, I love the imagery, and the symbolism. (Two things I'm sure nearly everyone loves in every poem that has them )

Ah yes, half the time I spent writing this was working on that last line to fit, yet nothing I tried really worked out. Either it fit the meter, but lost the impact, or vice versa, so I just stuck with this one. Unprofessional? Definitely, but this is Deviantart, so I let it slide. Maybe something will come to me later and I'll edit it. Also, I tried removing the "and" at the beginning of the line and it still doesn't help, Though it IS the same number of syllables, the stresses still are too different from the second to last line.

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Art is showing others what you live.

I am aware that I'm a young, perhaps naïve artist. I am trying to improve and grow. I want to learn, however I can. I want to see what can be done by others, even myself. Forgive my mistakes - I am always learning.

Oh, and above all, thank you for commenting. I forgot to put that one in.

--
Art is showing others what you live.

I am aware that I'm a young, perhaps naïve artist. I am trying to improve and grow. I want to learn, however I can. I want to see what can be done by others, even myself. Forgive my mistakes - I am always learning.

I love it. Especially the 3rd and forth lines.
You make me wish my writer's block would disappear!

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I get my kicks above the waistline, sunshine!

And sturdy roots can't grow anew?

Forgive my presumptuousness, but I really like this poem.

that was very interesting to read.
"Strong rivers are those who begin as tame"
that one caught me

and I can't see what the problem would be with the last line? I thought it went by without a fuzz.

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Life's a bitch that's too fond of her strap-on,
but we punched her back,
and now we wait
for the rematch to begin.

-- My own poem "Life's a bitch"

Thanks! I hope it goes away too. Strange urge to write when a song started playing on iTunes, but the weird part is that the song has absolutely nothing to do with this writing.

--
Art is showing others what you live.

I am aware that I'm a young, perhaps naïve artist. I am trying to improve and grow. I want to learn, however I can. I want to see what can be done by others, even myself. Forgive my mistakes - I am always learning.

It would fit in terms of rhyme and meter, but "can't grow anew" gives a kind of permanence to a loss that I don't think would fit with the rest of the poem.

I don't see how it's presumptuous, but thank you!

--
Art is showing others what you live.

I am aware that I'm a young, perhaps naïve artist. I am trying to improve and grow. I want to learn, however I can. I want to see what can be done by others, even myself. Forgive my mistakes - I am always learning.

2nd to last is 8 syllables, and last line is 9 syllables. And yes, I do think about things like that. the "be" in the last line is what upsets it, but it wouldn't make grammatical sense otherwise.

Thank you very much, though. Happy to intrigue you.

--
Art is showing others what you live.

I am aware that I'm a young, perhaps naïve artist. I am trying to improve and grow. I want to learn, however I can. I want to see what can be done by others, even myself. Forgive my mistakes - I am always learning.